• Friendly conference organizer: Mr. Stallman, welcome to St. Louis. We're very excited to have you here for our event.
  • Stallman: Yes.
  • Friendly conference organizer: And I'm glad you flew in 24 hours in advance; it will give you some time to enjoy our city. That is, if you're not too busy doing work.
  • Stallman: Please don't try to pressure me to "relax."
  • Friendly conference organizer: I wasn't trying to...
  • Stallman: Surely you do not really want me to have to work double tomorrow.
  • Friendly conference organizer: No no no. There's just a lot to see here in the Gateway to the West, and I thought if you'd like some advice on how to spend your day.
  • Stallman: I enjoy natural beauty such as mountains and rocky coasts, ancient buildings, impressive and unusual modern buildings, and trains.
  • Friendly conference organizer: Well...we may be able to find something with trains...
  • Stallman: I also like caves, and if there is a chance to go caving I would enjoy that. I am just a novice as a caver.
  • Friendly conference organizer: I'm happy to have you stay at my house, Mr. Stallman. I hope you find the couch comfortable, I vacuumed all the cat hair off of it. And here, let me get you a fresh set of sheets.
  • Stallman: Thank you. I like this much more than staying in a hotel.
  • Friendly conference organizer: Great!
  • Stallman: It's a bit warm in here, though.
  • Friendly conference organizer: Is it? I guess I'm used to it.
  • Stallman: Above 72 fahrenheit (22 centigrade) I find sleeping quite difficult.
  • Friendly conference organizer: Well... I'll see if I have a fan?
  • Stallman: If the air is dry, I can stand 23 degrees.
  • Friendly conference organizer: I don't know if I have a dehumidifier. I'll go grab our fan...
  • Stallman: Thank you. A strong electric fan blowing on me enables me to sleep.
  • Friendly conference organizer: Mr. Stallman, want to hear a joke?
  • Stallman: Sure.
  • Friendly conference organizer: Why did the chicken cross the road?
  • Stallman:
  • Friendly conference organizer: To get to…
  • Stallman: [interrupting] One situation where I do not need help, let alone supervision, is in crossing streets.
  • Friendly conference organizer: …it’s a joke.
  • (submitted by Brian)
  • Friendly conference organizer: Thank you for coming, Mr. Stallman. We’re about to begin. I trust your trip was comfortable?
  • Stallman: It was indeed comfortable, but an economy class seat would have been good enough.
  • Friendly conference organizer: It was the least we could do - we know how much you like to fit work in whenever you can and thought it would be easier for you in business class.
  • Stallman: The extra price of a business class ticket would be a lot more useful to me if I can spend it on something else. How about you pay the extra to me as a speakers fee instead? Cash is fine.
  • Friendly conference organizer: Oh, I’m sorry…. I’ll see what I can do about the return ticket. Otherwise, are you comfortable?
  • Stallman: I am quite sleepy.
  • Friendly conference organizer: Sorry to hear that - can I get you something to drink? A diet coke, perhaps?
  • Stallman: There is an international boycott of the Coca Cola company for killing union organizers in Colombia and Guatemala. See killercoke.org.
  • FFriendly conference organizer: Ah, I think I remember seeing that once when I was on the Internet.
  • Stallman: You mean web browsing.
  • Friendly conference organizer: Yes, of course.
  • Stallman: If someone doesn’t understand the difference between “Internet” and “web browsing”, that person is not competent to give reliable information.
  • Friendly conference organizer: …. How about a diet Pepsi?
  • Stallman: I dislike the taste of all diet soda. I would like two cans of Pepsi.
  • Friendly conference organizer: Okay, I think we have some bottles, I’ll find you a couple.
  • Stallman: Small bottles.
  • (Submitted by Jonathan.)
  • Friendly conference organizer: Mr. Stallman, we're very excited for you to visit us next week.
  • Stallman: Yes.
  • Friendly conference organizer: Do you enjoy art?
  • Stallman: I often find museums interesting, but it depends on the subject.
  • Friendly conference organizer: There's a great new show at the museum opening while you are here, and a few of are thinking of going the night before the event if you'd like to join us.
  • Stallman: I will probably want to do a few hours of sightseeing.
  • Friendly conference organizer: This really wouldn't be sightseeing...
  • Stallman: Please don't assume I want to see something just because it is customary to take visitors there.
  • Friendly conference organizer: OK! Well, if you're not interested, that's fine...
  • Stallman: That place may be of no interesst with me. Instead, please tell me about possible places to visit -- then I can say what I would like.
  • Friendly conference organizer: Well, this would be one possible place.
  • Stallman: Yes. It would.